Lastname 1 First Name Last Name Professor Garrett ESL 2 28 February 2024 Relationship and Buffets “Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power,” Lao Tzu. His advice can help anyone improve a relationship. The book [name] is by [author]. The author is [information on writer]. The book is about [main idea of book]. The book is important [why?] Your life will change [explain how or why]. Bids for emotional connection are important because understanding them better can help improve them. Three ways to improve bids are to correct mistakes making, receiving and busting. First, I make mistakes bidding. Three mistakes in my relationship are hiding my needs, expressing anger in my bids, and making my bids sound like criticism. The author talks about hiding needs in bids, “…,not all camouflaged bids are vague by intention. Sometimes they’re just a matter of poor communication” (34). I have poor communication skills. If I could improve my communication skills, then my classmates would understand what I need, and I would get better grades. [Mistake 2, quote sandwich.] [Mistake 3, quote sandwich.] Three issues I have when receiving bids are not being interested, being unaware, and criticizing. My first mistake receiving a bid is that I am not interested in what the other person has to say. The writer explains what happens when you are not interested, “But if you don’t pay attention, you don’t connect (65)”. I need to pay attention to Lastname 2 connect, and connection is important for a relationship. There are many ways to improve paying attention, and this is the first thing I did to improve my relationship. [Issue 2, quote sandwich.] [Issue 3, quote sandwich] The idea that you can avoid conflict with bid busters is an idea I agree with. I have many tense situations with my sister. We often make plans for the Thanksgiving holidays when we decide on a place to go for the meal. We plan this because we all want to see all the people in our family and have a good meal. This is a big meal and requires a lot of planning. Last Thanksgiving, we all decided on a plan to have a buffet dinner at the Lucky China Star Buffet. At the last minute, she decided she would rather have the dinner at her house. There was a lot of tension and anger and we didn’t talk to each other for a long time after that. This time I decided to avoid a bid buster. Usually, I am more critical than helpful, and this can make the relationship tense. I followed the writer’s advice and I stated my needs without attacking her. We were planning for New Year’s Eve, and we had plans to go to a park and watch fire works. She tried to change the plans and watch the fireworks from home. I told her I needed to be outside for the New Year to start the New Year with fresh air. She understood and we didn’t get in a fight. I was able to start the New Year with fresh air. This supports Gottman’s claim. As the writer says, “How you express your position in a conflict make a tremendous difference in your ability to connect with others” (72). I was able to express my needs instead of starting with criticism and that helped the situation. I think that with more changes, this will work in the future. Lastname 3 To conclude the ideas explained here, the power to better feeling contact are to improve errors doing, accepting, and smashing. Making mistakes bidding will hurt your relationships. As explained, hiding feelings, criticizing and expressing anger are not the way to go. [summarize 2] [summarize 3]. If you follow the writer’s advice, all your relationships will improve. Try it today. Lastname 4 Works Cited Gottman, John M. The Relationship Cure. Harmony Books, 2001.